Mackenzie's due date was November 13th. Around mid-October I had worked pretty hard to finish everything that needed to be done before her arrival "just in case" she came early. I figured with my luck she would make her appearance on Halloween or something. Thankfully she just missed Halloween and was born on October 27th. Even with all my prep work, there were some last minute things that needed to be done and general house cleaning that can easily fall behind.
That Sunday, Allen and I were out eating pizza for lunch and running a few errands together when we got the message that labor had started. Just minutes before we were actually joking about how she could be here any day now and if we were really totally ready for parenthood (is anyone, really though?). I don't even remember what went through my mind at that moment. Probably just shock that the time had finally come. We calmly and casually finished our lunch, Allen got a haircut, and we went shopping at Target. Then, when we got home the pandemonium began. We spent the next few hours frantically cleaning, vacuuming, working on laundry, windexing (because babies care about clean mirrors) and washing bottles and pacifiers.
A few hours later we packed up our "What to Expect the First Year" book (because I hadn't even started reading it yet and figured I should at least study the first chapter) and headed to the hospital for her delivery. This particular hospital always makes me feel a little uneasy to begin with. My mom has worked there for decades, my brother was born there, I volunteered there as a teenager, and my Dad had cancer treatments and surgeries there. There are just so many memories over the years at that place.
As far as Mackenzie's birth, our hospital experience was not an especially pleasant one. They claimed that they've done "lots of adoptions" but it sure seemed like the hospital was inexperienced and clueless. I even called ahead of time and confirmed that I needed to bring our temporary custody papers and made sure to drop them off and explain the situation to the front desk before even making our way to the room. Unfortunately that was the extent of the staff's interaction with us for the entire first and second day. My advice to anyone else adopting a newborn is to nag. I know it sounds annoying, but if your experience is anything like ours they will forget about you if you don't make your presence known as the adoptive parents (not just visitors) and your expectations clear.
I won't dwell on it too much but here are just a few things that contributed to the frustration with the hospital... We never received armbands until the very last day when we questioned the nurse about the discharge procedure for adoptions. Only then did they realize that the baby was going home with us and that someone on day 1 dropped the ball. And by questioned, I really mean nagged. We only received Mackenzie's APGAR score, hospital papers, newborn information, feeding tips, etc. after pestering the front desk at least three times. The birth family received her footprints but I had to request a one for us after realizing that they only made one copy. After requesting it, the nurse decided to simply give us the one already filled out with the birth mother's fingerprint by just adding Allen and my fingerprint next to it. When I put up a fuss and said that I wanted a sheet with the footprints and our fingerprints she looked at me like I was being crazy because she would "just add ours right next to it and that'll be good enough". Instead of making a commotion in the room I marched out to the front desk and found a more helpful nurse who apologized and said the new prints would be ready the following morning by discharge time. Although she was much more understanding, the prints were not ready and we had to do them ourselves at home. There was no newborn hospital photo taken, either. I know the photos always kind of suck but it's still a memory that is fun to take home. The nurse said that the photographer must have known that this was an adoption situation and skipped us. Um, hello? They could have at least asked. The staff never asked for our names, contact information, or address. When I made it clear that I wanted to be notified of updates they said that would be no problem. Even then though we only received once call letting us know she was ready to go home. They finally wrote our name and phone number down at the end of day 2 only after I let them know that they don't even have our contact info. The social security card is being mailed to birth family's address instead of ours for this reason. In any other situation that could be a problem but since we know the family it's not a big issue. Anyway there was much more but those are just some of the irritations that I remember. Overall I think their attitude and unhelpfulness was the most disappointing part. Our nagging seemed to have paid off at the end because the nurse who discharged us was super nice and helpful and I think felt sorry for us and sent us home with loads of goodies. We were still missing papers and information that our pediatrician asked about at the first visit, though.
On a positive note, our experience with the birth family was much nicer and we were thankful to be so involved. We arrived at the hospital just a few hours before Mackenzie was born. During that time we really just tried to stay out of the way as much as possible. We just migrated between the delivery room and the waiting room until the time came. Once labor started progressing quickly Allen waited in the hallway with the guys in the family while I was in the room with the girls. I can honestly say that childbirth is the most emotional, beautiful, traumatizing thing that I've seen. And I didn't even see much. Her sisters (who are braver than I) were standing front and center with a view of everything going on while I opted to hold down a chair in the corner where it was safe. I don't totally know (because the doctor never told me anything) but it seemed a pretty intense delivery. They had to use the suction cup things to help her out and the cord was wrapped around her neck at one point. Either way, she was born absolutely perfect at 6 pounds 4 ounces at 9:41 PM and has a head full of silky dark hair. She was measured at 18 inches long but it turns out she was actually 19 inches. I held the tears back as much as possible but when she was finally born I couldn't help but cry my heart out. I was the 2nd person to hold her and it seemed like an eternity between that moment and the moment when she finally came home with us. We tried to be as patient as possible and only visited for a few hours each day to give the birth family their time with her. It was an emotional roller coaster but oh so worth it. To anyone else adopting, no matter what kind of adoption it may be, you're in for a hell of a ride and an incredible blessing!
Mackenzie is now 3 weeks old and at her 2 week appointment the doctor said she grew half an inch and gained 11 ounces. I'm thankful for all the tiny newborn clothes we have because size 0-3 just hangs off her! The tiniest outfit we have, one that I wasn't even sure she would ever be able to fit because it is so small, actually fits her perfectly. It's a white onesie with silver sparkly angel wings on the back that I just couldn't resist buying. So fitting.
The first day home with baby Mackenzie was a breeze. The the next day she found her lungs, though. I've never heard a newborn shriek so loudly before. It's a bit of an adjustment settling into parenthood but overall we're all doing wonderfully. I'm learning that my house can be dirty, and that's okay. I have a to-do list a mile long but that's also okay. A happy healthy baby is all that matters.
I have to brag on my husband for a minute, now. I seriously don't know how single parents survive. He has been absolutely amazing! He's been so involved and hands on with everything and I am just beyond thankful. Thanks bee, you're the absolute best!
Alright, that's all for now! I'm sure I missed something but little pants is waking up. I have another update that is long overdue but that's a post for another day.
Love love.
Heather
