2 Years in 1 Post

TTC. TWW. POAS. BFN. BBT. CD. What the hell do those mean? Well, 2 years ago I had absolutely no idea. I grew up thinking that everything happened just as it should. You go to college. You get married. You buy a house. You get a cat (or two, like us). And you have a baby. You followed the process and it just - happened.

My checklist was moving along just fine. After being married for 3 fantastic years we decided that we would like to expand our little family. Like everything we do, we prepped. I found an amazing deal on the world’s most beautiful crib at StorkLand. Shortly after we picked up a matching changing table. Next? No more birth control pill. It was all very calculated and precise. I figured it may take a few months for my body to cleanse, so if I stopped the pill in June (2011) perhaps we would be pregnant by September, giving us a summer baby.  Perfect timing! (Allen and I always joked about our December birthdays and how we would do everything we could not to do that to our kids. “This present is for your birthday and Christmas” Ugh) 

Well, month after month (after month after month after month) went by and it never happened. I don’t know how many boxes of pregnancy tests I purchased, but it was enough for Target to start printing out coupons for another box with my receipt. After awhile I learned about ovulation predictor kits. I purchased enough of those bad boys to also make the coupon cut. Now I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I’ve become quite the professional at peeing on test sticks. The bathroom has become my own personal science lab. Since we still weren’t getting anywhere I began to try temperature charting. This was pretty obnoxious to do every single morning – you must have several hours of uninterrupted sleep, must not have had anything to drink, must take temperature at the same time each day, blah blah blah. It actually did help though, because it confirms that ovulation took place when you charted it should. Still no results, though.

A year later I finally made the dreaded doctor’s appointment with my gynecologist. I was prescribed the traditional "get you pregnant" drugs Clomid and Metformin for about 6 months. These were probably the most miserable months of this entire process. Every single day I could guarantee at least 1 of 3 things: a non-stop headache, uncomfortable hot flashes, and severe nausea. Again, no progress. My stress level began to go crazy, too. Maybe that’s what peeing on a stick every single day, attempting to remember to wake up and take your basal body temperature, remembering to take a concoction of pills that make you feel like shit with each meal, charting every single time “romantic business” occurs, and of course logging in online to see all the new Facebook pregnancy announcements from people who you’re pretty sure should never be allowed to have kids will do to you. If you sensed a little bit of bitterness, you’re correct.

Anyway, we recently had our first visit with a reproductive specialist that came highly recommended at OU Medical Center. Thankfully he dropped the Metformin, but I’ll be back on some kind of dosage of Clomid to combo with our first IUI this month. That’s right, IUI here we come! The doctor confirmed that there isn't anything medically wrong that would cause fertility difficulties. We've both had all the tests, although I definitely got the short end of the stick. There was literately an audience of on-lookers (they claim they were medical students) watching and peering at my business. After the 12 hundredth fertility exam I suppose I've gotten so used to it so having an audience didn't even bother me. While that is good news (the results, not the personal peepers) the doctor still diagnosed us with "unexplained infertility". He also explained that normal couples have about a 20% chance of conceiving each month, whereas couples with unexplained infertility only have about 3%. Moving forward, we're going to increase our odds to at least 30% by trying IUI. For the first time in awhile I'm actually excited and hopeful about this journey. I absolutely can't wait to be a Mommy and I know it'll happen one way or another. Right now I'm working on having patience and keeping faith, but it's a daily struggle.

I’m certainly crossing my fingers and saying my prayers in hopes that IUI will be a success. If you wouldn't mind, feel free to send some warm thoughts my way. I'd appreciate it, for sure.

Alright. Thanks for the read. Writing has always been a good outlet for me (Xanga, anyone?) so hopefully blogging about this unexpected journey will helpful. Infertility seems like such a taboo topic, nobody every talks about it. People who struggle with it tend to keep it to themselves. It's been described as "the silent disorder". Well, for now I have a voice and I feel like using it.


Heather

And just in case you were wondering... TTC = trying to conceive. TWW = two week wait. POAS = pee on a stick. BFN = big fat negative. BBT = basal body temperature. CD = cycle day. I keep track of the date nowadays by cycle days. What's the date? Today is Tuesday, CD24.